FunnyPress.com

Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ The White House prepared to seize Chrysler after President Obama purged General Motors. Who's next? Kremlinologists are studying photos of the Inaugural Parade to see which company is standing furthest away from him on the reviewing stand. …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ President Obama proposed a cap on executive salaries in all publicly traded corporations in the US This idea will never make it through Congress. All the executives have to do is tell Rep. Barney Frank that they won't be able to afford to make campaign … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen all 2 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 4 hours ago Caroline Kennedy gave an interview to The New York Times that unmasked her as inarticulate and unknowledgeable. She has absolutely no credentials to be a US …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 9 hours ago President Bush was holding a surprise press conference in Baghdad when an Iraqi journalist stood up and threw two shoes at him. It's inexcusable. …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 1 hour ago Hillary Clinton's salary as secretary of State had to be cut so she can take the job legally. She blew the Democratic primaries, then took a salary cut and …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 8 hours ago John McCain's campaign was revealed to have spent $100000 for Sarah Palin's hair and makeup to make her look good on television - and she's a former beauty …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 17 hours ago Swiss adventurer Louis Palmer just completed a trip around the world in a solar-powered car. He traveled 32000 miles without using a single drop of gasoline …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 13 hours ago Citigroup said that despite its rescue by the federal government, it will keep its stadium naming rights deal with the New York Mets for the baseball team's …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 26 minutes ago General Motors severed its endorsement deal with Tiger Woods. It said the break has nothing to do with GM's federal bailout request. … Humor: Advice worth $105M Tucson Citizen all 5 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 16 hours ago Barack Obama's stage at Mile High Stadium was designed by Britney Spears' set designer. That makes sense. Spears has been fighting off charges for years … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen Tucson Citizen - Tucson Citizen all 9 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 11 hours ago Galveston residents faced a monthlong task of cleaning up after Hurricane Ike. They're grateful they weren't investment bankers. At least with their money …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 8 hours ago The US Senior Open in Colorado was halted briefly when a brown bear ran across the golf course. Where's the Sierra Club when you need it? …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 11 hours ago Barack Obama met with economic advisers to plot policy. He recently returned from the Middle East and Europe. While Obama was in London, he decided to …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 2 hours ago Condoleezza Rice told Iran to get serious about ending its nuclear enrichment program. She's not kidding. The only reason the US hasn't invaded is because …

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Seattle Post Intelligencer

Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 2 hours ago Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton will hold two joint fundraisers in New York. One will raise money for Barack's campaign and one will raise money for … Video: Obama, Clinton Show Unity Again in New York AssociatedPress Obama, Clinton Appear at NY Women's Fundraiser International Business Times Hillary Clinton and the Dr. Fell factor MinnPost.com Hot Air - Tallahassee Democrat all 1,658 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 17 hours ago GOP conservatives promised to stage a fight over the party platform at the Republican convention. President Bush's name is on 90 of 100 pages of the current …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 4 hours ago John McCain flew to Mexico City to talk about immigration policy and free trade. It was a shrewd move. He knows that at the current rate of immigration, …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 10 hours ago Barack Obama and Bill Clinton struck a deal. Bill agreed to stay off the campaign trail; Barack agreed to give him Scarlett Johansson's e-mail address. …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 10 hours ago A glitch was found in Microsoft's Hotmail spell check. It says "Obama" is correctly spelled "Osama." If you think that's awful, imagine the problems caused …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 10 hours ago A glitch was found in Microsoft's Hotmail spell check. It says "Obama" is correctly spelled "Osama." If you think that's awful, imagine the problems caused …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 10 hours ago John McCain turned his attention to the fall election after the GOP primaries formally ended. The nice thing about being a Republican is that they are never …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 10 hours ago Hillary Clinton claimed the popular vote victory in the Democratic presidential primaries in her election-night speech Tuesday. It's so sad. …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 4 hours ago EX-White House spokesman Scott McClellan said in his book President Bush couldn't remember if he did cocaine. It's unlikely. Cocaine causes an exaggerated …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 9 hours ago Hillary Clinton campaigned in Oregon and Kentucky. Her chances depend on her winning both primaries. She needs a miracle, but unfortunately she used up her …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 17 hours ago John McCain assured voters in Michigan that his temper will not affect his ability to govern. It might actually work in his favor. …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 8 hours ago The US Marines are ignoring Afghanistan's booming poppy crop so as not to upset locals. Troops say they are there to fight the Taliban, not opium. …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 2 hours ago Hillary Clinton ran an ad in North Carolina vowing to force oil companies to use excess profits to research alternative fuels. …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 14 hours ago The YANKEES denied Pope Benedict permission to ride the Popemobile on the grass in the New York team's stadium. It shows no respect for all that is holy. …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 21 hours ago Massachusetts Institute of Technology Professor Edward Lorenz died at home this week at age 90. He became famous as the father of chaos theory. …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 3 hours ago "American Idol" topped the ratings again for Fox Network. Many tune in for the judges. It's fun to see an erratic woman, a smooth black guy and a cranky …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 2 hours ago The History News Network released a poll that shows 98 percent of historians rate President Bush's presidency a failure. This would explain why Pope … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen all 4 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 8 hours ago President Bush gave a speech last week declaring his resolve to stay the course in Iraq. It lowered morale. He's reducing troop deployments from 15 months … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen all 4 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 22 hours ago Augusta National will host the final round of the Masters on Sunday. The sport lives in its own special world. The Golf Channel asked President Bush to …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 9 hours ago Larry King was ejected from a Beverly Hills Little League game where his 9-year-old son was playing. It's a special setting. In Beverly Hills Little League, … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen all 2 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 22 hours ago Washington's Mayflower Hotel said its gift shop has sold out of hotel souvenirs since Eliot Spitzer met a hooker there. You know what this means. …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 2 hours ago Ringling BROS. and Barnum & Bailey arrived in New York. It's what's left of a once-great circus. The Wild West Show left Ringling Bros. seven years ago to … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen all 4 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 19 hours ago President Bush, in a phone call, confronted Chinese leader Hu Jintao about the crackdown in Tibet. The White House later said Bush spoke very clearly. … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen all 3 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 6 hours ago The PGA will begin testing golfers for performance-enhancing drugs in April to show the public that the sport is honest. Players are happy to comply. … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen all 3 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 6 hours ago John McCain took his campaign to southern California. The weather was bright and sunny but no one asked if his melanoma was cause for concern. …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 3 hours ago New Orleans is alarmed about Mississippi River floodwater heading south from Missouri. It's part of nature's plan. Kansas science teachers won't like this, …

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San Francisco Chronicle

Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 17 hours ago John McCain suspended an aide who edited a video of Barack Obama standing by pastor Jeremiah Wright, then the pastor's anti-American rant. … Voters should sever Obama from his pastor The Star-Ledger - NJ.com CURRAN: Let’s rise above race; don’t contribute to lowering our nation New Albany Tribune Sunday letters: Barack Obama and his pastor Dallas Morning News MetroWest Daily News all 432 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - Mar 21, 2008 Missouri withstood major flooding, prompting President Bush to declare the state a disaster area. He gave them great comfort. Missourians heard his speech … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen all 2 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - Mar 21, 2008 President Bush marked the fifth anniversary of the Iraq war. He said it was the right thing to do although it destroyed lives, cost billions and there's no …

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Edmonton Journal

Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 19 hours ago Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton agreed to debate again in mid-April before the Pennsylvania primary. Their one-on-one debates have gotten huge ratings. … A New Emphasis in the 'Race' for President NPR Editor's Mailbag Mason City Globe Gazette Saturday Night Live: Old Fogies Huffington Post Huffington Post - Exile Street all 507 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 48 minutes ago Guinness Ale on Monday delivered a million signatures to Congress asking that St. Patrick's Day be made a national holiday. The day after St. Patrick's … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen all 2 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 57 minutes ago The Weather Channel reported snow and ice storms blowing into the Eastern Seaboard from the Midwest. The cold was bone-chilling. …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 11 hours ago Tiger Woods is favored to win his fifth straight tournament at Arnold Palmer's Bay Hill Invitational this week. What a sport. Golf is the only game which …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 9 hours ago Barack Obama expressed anger over misperceptions that he's Muslim. It's nothing to worry about. Having the middle name Hussein doesn't make Obama a Muslim …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 4 hours ago President Bush's news briefings in Africa were halted twice by birds. In Rwanda he was drowned out by cranes and in Ghana it was shrieking peacocks. … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen all 4 news articles

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Bleacher Report

Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 15 hours ago New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick walked off the field with two seconds left in the Super Bowl with his team about to lose. Even Richard Nixon waved … Full circle RealFootball365.com all 8 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 13 hours ago Fox Network is charging Super Bowl advertisers $3 million for a 30-second ad. They're always fun to watch. Britney Spears once endorsed Dr Pepper and it was … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen all 3 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 21 hours ago The South Carolina primary got nasty. One hate group got its dirty campaign literature mixed up. They passed out fliers that brought up John McCain's …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - Jan 18, 2008 Psychology Today published a study of the likes and dislikes of schoolchildren in America, which revealed that most children hate clowns. … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen all 3 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - Jan 18, 2008 Psychology Today published a study of the likes and dislikes of schoolchildren in America, which revealed that most children hate clowns. … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen all 3 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 19 hours ago Barack Obama said Hillary Clinton's reference to Martin Luther King Jr. last week was unfortunate. She said it took President Johnson and Congress to get …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 5 hours ago Congress moved baseball's steroid hearings back a month to depose players under oath before they testify. Roger Clemens' lawyer told him to take the fifth, …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 7 hours ago The US Navy almost fired on five swarming Iranian gunboats in the Straits of Hormuz on Sunday. At the last second the Iranians fled to avoid starting a war. … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen all 2 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - Jan 2, 2008 The Iowa caucuses will be held Thursday after a year of nonstop campaigning by presidential candidates. Many Iowans are sad to see this circus end. …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 23 hours ago Barack Obama announced his presidential candidacy from the Abe Lincoln Library in Illinois. It's an odd place to launch his campaign. … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen all 2 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 16 hours ago Saddam Hussein was hanged on New Year's Day and it aired worldwide thanks to cell phone cameras. The message was clear. Admit you have weapons of mass …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - Dec 30, 2007 Barron Hilton said he'll leave his fortune to the Conrad Hilton Foundation. It funds adult literacy programs, housing for the mentally ill and treatment for …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 6 hours ago New Jersey's governor signed a new law that limits the time convicted sex offenders can spend on the Internet. You can't make this stuff up. … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen all 2 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 6 hours ago New Jersey's governor signed a new law that limits the time convicted sex offenders can spend on the Internet. You can't make this stuff up. … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen all 2 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - Dec 28, 2007 New Jersey's governor signed a new law that limits the time convicted sex offenders can spend on the Internet. You can't make this stuff up. …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 22 hours ago Great Britain passed a ban on motorists talking on a cell phone while driving. It could cost lives. Drive-by shootings in Los Angeles are down 90 percent …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 1 hour ago Nickelodeon star Jamie Lynn Spears said she's pregnant and will have the baby out of wedlock. Her sister Britney Spears should have a long talk with her. … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen all 2 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 18 hours ago Alex Rodriguez hired agent Guy Oseary to handle his baseball career. Oseary manages rock stars in Hollywood. Nowadays nothing is more important for a … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen all 2 news articles

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 15 hours ago Dick Cheney's office was destroyed by fire Wednesday, one day after a judge ordered the vice president's visitor logs unsealed. There were two injuries. …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 9 hours ago The Weather Channel showed snow and ice and cold temperatures blanketing a lot of America on Monday. It caused confusion. There was momentary euphoria at …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 22 hours ago John Edwards told high school students in New Hampshire that the United States has a moral and legal obligation to treat women as the equals of men. …

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Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen, AZ - 14 hours ago Sen. George Mitchell's report accused baseball players of masking their use of human growth hormone. It's his goal to find a urine test to detect it. … Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen Humor by Argus Hamilton Tucson Citizen all 3 news articles

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